Friday, March 30, 2007
turkish guys are fucking hottttttt!
saw this random video on youtube and i tell u...they are bloody hot! i wanna migrate to turkey!!!
back to reality....well i've been madly busy these few days.settling my uni application.the EIS route requires a thousand million documents to be handed in, and i only found out on wednesday night,at the stroke of midnight.
so thursday was majorly hectic.
i was literally touring singapore;rushing from tanjong pagar to clementi and then to eastcoast and then to tampines and then back home.
i SWEAR im never going to leave things to the very last minute ever again.
my sleep was being disturbed and all.....mind constantly working even when im resting in peace(or so i thought...)
i CAN'T WAIT FOR SUNDAY TO BE OVER!
going over to NUS, collect my letter from the good professor, and finally dumping the huge godforsaken envelope into the submission box!!
im gg to treat myself to famous amos cookies after that and go home and sleeeeeeep!
Monday, March 26, 2007
ok so today and wednesday, me n vib dun haf2 go to work.coz apparently we're sooooo efficient that there's no more forms to be screened.dammit.
woke up at 1pm today.ahhhhhh.....simple luxuries in life.
i miss sleeping for prolonged hours and dreaming of sweet nothings!(=
meeting wara at 4pm later.we're heading for the gym at tampines and try to shred off all the fats accumulated thus far.
and shuddup hanis...im not fat.i barely put on weight laa....i just feel thoroughly unfit!silly girl.
maybe watching mr bean's holiday after that...yay!!i need a good laugh tonight!
hanisah has been EXTREMELY mischevious this past week...so i have to blog about her.
after work, me aysha vibha and monyet decided to have satay at haig road.
so the 4 friends set off on their journey,with eager faces and growling tummies.
we took 21 there and met monyet's and aysha's latest crush in the bus.he was eyeing them throughout the journey to geylang.hahahahahah!
after alighting the bus, we had to cross several junctions.and aysha nearly killed me while crossing the road.pfft.
and so, we were walking across the carpark..happy2 talking...when suddenly hanisah gave a mighty loud shriek! she literally
froze in her steps."OMG LION!" said her.
as we all know, lions can only be found at the singapore zoo; they
don't roam the streets of this country.we are NOT living in the freaking safari!! BUT
of course, we can all
emphatize with the shock the lion in question gave hanisah. naturally, the lion was nothing more than an innocent cat, whose only
crime was to be in hanisah's path.
she's sooo funny i swear!
when we arrived there, we found out that both satay stalls were
closed.wth laa....
so we trudged over to the teh tarik corner, which was just around the corner(silently laughing here) and settled ourselves down.the aroma of goreng pisang and cempedak goreng filled the air and drifted into our nostrils...whetting mine and hanisah's appetite BIGGGG time!
so, me n vib had 10 satay sticks each! my fellow friend with an appetite as huge as mine (=
after eating, somebody by the name of 'ninja turtle' was trying desperately to be hanisah's new best friend.even though the random pakcik gave it some charred chicken leftovers to eat, it chose to wander over to hanisah's seat and lie comfortably near her feet. for those of you wondering what exactly 'ninja turtle' is...lemme enlighten you .ninja turtle is a very tame and adorable cat, with clean white fur and lovely yellow-green eyes that compliments her majestic white coat!she is indeed very keen for companionship.she is extremely friendly and in dire need of hanisah's exclusive friendship.
ahhh...so vib and me had a lovely time capturing that classic moment of hanisah freaking out in a public coffeeshop on camera. she was sitting cross-legged and practically tugging on aysha's sleeve the entire time the poor kitty was lying down behind her chair. it was A MOMENT to remember;hanisah sweating profusely despite sitting under the fan and having that scared-to-death look pinned on her face for the entire 10mins! laughed sooo much ahh! her fear of the innocent cat aided our digestion immensely!
and so, the whole way back, we kept saying MEOOOOWWWW and doing other catty actions just to spook her even more.hahaha..u're hilarious my dear.....
i did not see the photocopying boy yesterday before leaving.boohoo.
he is just an eyecandy.i
am in need of eyecandies.it does not mean i like him.
psssst. i think i liked
you last time.i think.
Sunday, March 25, 2007
attended a wedding yesterday.
the bride's makeup was not very fantastic.conclusion--> must get damn good make-up artist/brand for my wedding.or else the young ones will bitch about me.yes.
siti belanja-ed me,baba salleh and aunty fau at swensens after that.the swensens at t2 has got lovely sofas that u simply sink into,thus making one reluctant to budge after the meal.
aunty fau got her friend arriving from jakarta to buy TEN krispy kremes. they are like the best doughnuts everrrr.even lovelier than dunkin donuts.superrr lovely.comparable to those from the donut factory at raffles city.
ok moving on from doughnuts....
today was rather interesting.
woke up in the nick of time to make it for my first ever arabic class.
amal made a great example throughout the lesson--like me and aminha would relate whatever words we learnt and apply it on her.
but the girl takes it all in her stride and declared to be rather proud of being part of our learning process.ahaha...utter rubbish!
so after the class,rushed off to town to meet my darling lina....whom i've not seen for 3 effing weeks! so it was talktalktalkeattalktalktalktalkshoptalktalktalk.
yea we had THAT much of updating to do.
and thanks to her club member, we got to enter miu miu at paragon. we were walking around and getting lost in our own fantasy world whereby we could afford everything we see for sale there.....oh! discovered this glorious shop at level3 of paragon--the makeup store! i swear its like the best ever!
the lady tried some black-gold-glitter eyeliner thingy on my upper eyelid and it looks fucking gorgeous,especially against my brown eyes!im soo gg to buy it(i think) after 10th april!
after that,we walked over to taka and roamed about for icecream.then, we realised stooopid andersen's icecream had closed down! bodoh!! and the cold storage did not seem to carry any ben and jerry's icecream...so we settled for cheap drinks...like mine was a bottle of mineral water for 40cents.*beams*
this reminds me of the woman in miu miu earlier on. i heard the cashier-lady saying "ok ma'am, after discount...the total is 999" im like " WTF!" if u tell me the price is
after discount, i expect it to be 9.90! not freaking $999..with no decimal point in between!fucking barking mad! insanity! i won't ever pay that much for a pair of shoes! unless i have a money-printing machine at home....
bought myself those nice cookies from cookieman at the taka basement.it rocks as usual!
so after we had sustenance, we sat at the fountain outside taka,by the pavement...and people-watched. and lina suddenly declared that we should be on the catwalk too after catching a glimpse of the fashion show going on inside the tent behind us! i second that! we are more wekll-endowed than those ridiculously stick-thin models that cavort about the catwalk.anorexic-looking creatures.scrawny homosapiens.(this is the jealousy talking)
and so we said our goodbyes and i reached home around 9.luckily mama wasn't very irked about that.took some clothes wimme and left for siti's place.
i guess i'll be staying here for a while now that my fucked up internet doesn't work at home.
grrr.i miss my bed.
Thursday, March 22, 2007
somebody made me sad tonight.
and angry.sad.angry.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
today i encountered a person who is wifeless,childless,parentless and grandparentless.
vibha declared in awe that he must be
god since he has no human relations whatsoever.
and his dad is godfather.
laughed until want to die liddat just now.i teared! and crappy lameass jokes continues as long as ur going thru forms;some submitted by (i swear) brainless idiots!
omg i haf2 blog about my bimbotic bestie(for censorous reasons,i shan't disclose her name, and by so doing,i AM helping her salvage her dignity).
so once upon a time,fai picks up a call from her bestie on a glorious morning. glorious coz her 1-day-old crush was in very close proximity.
anyways,the conversation rotates around how her bestie had successfully gotten her pants ripped somewhere near the crotch area, by an evil bangla who refused to budge..and thus somehow very complexly resulted in her pants getting stuck somehwere.
so she needed me to meet her as she was already very gabra. she wanted to go home.but of course, that was out of the question.she couldn't possibly manage that ride home with semi-torn pants. so i searched everywhere for a clothes shop that was open at freaking 8.30am.there was NONE. so another friend came up with the brilliant idea of using a jacket to cover that censorous spot. and so,with teamwork and ultimate brilliance put into action; we managed to save our dear friend from humiliation.like u owe us ben n jerry's tauu!
this bestie once again displayed her bimboticness when she left behind her cca records and scholarship stuffs in the office, when we were all heading for mendaki to submit our application.*sighs*
note that u r indeed dearly loved despite ur *coughs* dumbness. (=
aysha raped my nostrils yesterday. poor me...stuck with non-virgin nostrils now.arghhhh....that rapist of a brooch ...pegi buang sudah!
i didn't see much of 'craterman' today. if i were to photoshop his facial texture, he'd look damn good!
(ok vib now is the time for u to stop being a baddddd influence!)
im in the mood for satay.
nice hot satay.
please appear before my eyes soon.i shall devour you...yummmmm!
Monday, March 19, 2007
i invented a new word today--WHORRIBLE.
it is a mixture of the word whore and horrible. (=
im a freaking genius.i KNOW!
today aysha was whiny.like totally whiny.making weird faces the whole time in the train. and she had mr z's delightful company at work for 2 consecutive days thus far.fun kan sha?hehe.
hanisah punked me on saturday night.grrr.ass.
i m now oficially $100 poorer after belanja-ing the whole family at kintamani restaurant.i SWEAR its so fucking expensive!
amal and me terbeliak when we saw the bill.....almost died of shock i tell u...and that was after the discount of $150 and a couple of other stuffs the friendly manager waived for us.
i HIGHLY recommend aysha's very
best friend to demand her to belanja him there! (=
ok so work was well...bleah as usual. except that i've now got an eyecandy after 3months at IRAS! like finally! he has been dubbed 'photocopying boy' due to his frequent usage of the machine conveniently located within my viewing range. tralalalalala!
and vib shut up i've got great taste in men ok! boys...men ...wtv! thou my history of eyecandies has not been very... well....fantastic.... =P
oh today me n vib came across thousands of zorro wannabes....who creatively put a big Z on the form instead of writing zero down! cool funky people out there.....brighten up my day.
tmr we're getting free beriyani for lunch!hoooorayyyy! i hope its mutton...dun fancy the chicken one very much.
and porn, i shall invest in a swimming costume.soon.just not now... (=
i feel effing broke.anybody wiling to donate some money to me? those kind kind souls with no use for the extra cash?
a generous spirit who finds joy in giving to others...and expect nothing in return?
Sunday, March 18, 2007
nothing much happened these few days.
my net is still down.
i feel suffocated coz i only have the tv for company now at home.
i NEED to get online...
anyhoos....work has been dull as usual....save for the maddening ways we come up with to entertain ourselves.
everymorning, my first hour at work goes like this.
im always 15mins late--its standard ok!
then i relax2 for awhile...then go up to the 5th floor with the girls to get breakfast,which comprises of teh susu and 2 jemput2 (and the wonderfully colourful kuih lapis!)
then forms forms forms forms.........
lunchtime meet my girls.
then forms forms forms forms.
life is boring.i need to meet new people.toodles.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
did not go to work on both tuesday and wednesday....
spent the whole of tuesday ploughing thru scholarships online...and realised that most of the scholarship application dates were either over or due tomorrow.so i had to rush thru the application.
ooh! and my net at home is officially dead.so i won't be online for a looong time.unless of course i decide to go over to aunty fau's place and use her computer.
I M GOING TO DIE WITHOUT MY MSN I SWEAR!
anyways...decided not to go to work again today...using the excuse that i had to take passport-sized photos for the application forms.and i was tudung-less for the first time in a loong while.
met wara at tamp after getting my photocopying and photo-taking done.OMG i was soooo effing happy at the interchange! i saw DR. HOT there. after alighting from the bus, i looked ahead and voila! there he was, looking hot as ever and looking BACK! and the fact that his family and my family know each other quite well doesn't hurt either! =)
so i was smiling for some time to myself until wara came!
i miss my bestie....*i swear u better feel honoured O-porn*
so spent loads of time chatting at a random cafe at tampines.....nice2.
i dun fancy working life that much now that i've got a stable job.
i wanna go back to studying!
at least, i know that he'll know my name within 6months of me entering NUS...and then, i can boast about dr. hottie being my friend! hahahaha!
fuck my wireless connection.
watching charmed season1 on youtube now.
and tmr...its back to work.darnnit.....
Monday, March 12, 2007
i can always rely on xinyi's blog to crack me up like mad! honestly....if u're in need of a good laugh,i highly reommend reading her blog!
her latest one about iranians is damn funny!ahaha...
so saturday was hectic madness!
woke up uber early to make it in time for the NUS open house.
okaayy...so like i did not find out anything new from the talks i attended....the speaker for the medicine talk sounded soo bitter about medicine on the whole;its as though he regretted it or sth!
the professor of pharmaceuticals was rather convincingly promoting 'pharmacy' to us.
and i might actually consider it as one of my top 5 choices.
aunty fau spent the better half of sunday trying to persuade me to become a dentist so that she'll get free dental check-ups! funny arh....
science is such a general degree...and i absolutely refuse to be stuck in a lab all my life! and the fact that most ppl who take science usually switch to other professions makes it all the less attractive!
i guess accounting is alright....but NTU supposedly has got the best business school around , not NUS....and SMU is not even an option for me!
and since i might be eligible for a scholarship, i've got to start applying to several and try my luck! hence i'm taking leave from work tmr so that i'll be able to buy time to think this thru'....
problem is,i don't have a clue as to what i want to do in future.
i need divine help.i need someone to say "ok fairuz, this is what i want u to do...."
ok so after the NUS openhouse, we headed back home.
i got to nap for an hour before aysha woke me up to get ready for samar.
and so, i was punctual on one of those rare instances in my life!haha!
they brought in this bellydancer from lebanon who was babatified in my opinion..and she geleks very kasar-ly.on the overall, not bad la! i mean obviously better than i'll ever be!=(
food sucks big time at samar!like seriouslyyy.....
aysha and me and noorie gelek-ed abit here and there...not much dancing coz we were too shagged already.
reached home around 1am! tralalalala......and mama was cool with it since aysha's mum was there too!ahaha yayyy!!
wokeup around 1ish on sunday.lovely sleep =)
then rotted at siti's place till nearly 10pm.had fun with the cousins and hilarious uncles.
i love my family...ooh and this saturday, amal and me have to belanja the
whole family at Kintamani Indon Restaurant, since we're supposedly rich coz we're working.
they are blissfully unaware of babi cpf and how they anyhow potong 20% of my hard-earned money! like i soooo did not opt for them to deduct
anything fom my pay! shitheads!
ooh...so i learnt a couple of new things at work today.
like how hikmah likes kissing my cheek coz im kissable(so she claims...)
and how bus number 5 also goes to novena.and its a million times faster than lembap 21! whee!!
and how my dumb friends hanisah and aysha loove guessing my friendster password and come up with
dumb beyond belief possibilities!
and how im a very efficient worker-even when i find time to slack in aysha's dept for 30mins today.
and how viben loves her job....so much so that she is virtually a jukebox when at work!singing gaily non-stop...imagine the torture my poor eardrums had to endure! from 8am to 5.30pm! *sighs*
oh wells, desperate housewives laterr....
Sunday, March 11, 2007
i had a sudden vision of my future apartment!
after graduating from uni, i'll obviously be working.
and funny how i envision myself looking all corporate..hmm.
ok so i want to live in a penthouse;one that overlooks the city.
the theme for my apartment shall be white/beige-ish....a soothing shade that'll beckon me into my lavish apartment.
i'd like it to be very spacious, with fluffy cushions and furry rugs on the marble flooring.
obviously i'd like a mall in my bedroom, like the one in princess diaries 2!with all my branded clothing(yes i dun plan to live budgetly all my life!) neatly hanging from the closet.they'll prolly be arranged according to colour-imagine different shades of brown grouped together etc.
and shoes!!! jimmy choos and stuart weitzman and prada and guess and ALL! once again, they'll all be heels very obviosuly. maybe i'll be fair and throw in 2 or 3 pairs of birkenstocks as well. just for comfort-wear.
my sofa will be huge and comfy! it'll be facing my huge plasma screen, which will be installed hanging from the wall. i'll prolly invest in one of those osim massage chairs...just so that i'll get a chance to soothe all aching muscles at the end of every hectic day.
my kitchen will be furnished with gadgets that'll make cooking a breeze. since im one hundred times better at baking than at cooking, i'll get myself a brilliant oven so that i'll be able to bake yummy cakes/biscuits on lazy weekends. oh! and i'm soo gonna buy loads of those recipe books for excellent desserts.i've got a sweet tooth...can't blame a girl for that!
my balcony that overlooks the city...will be the perfect spot for me to sip on lemonade on a hot sunny day.
and we must not forget my jacuzzi! it'll be located outside my bedroom(which is on the 2nd floor) for convenience sake!
my bedroom will be fully carpeted.just coz i like the feel of something soft cushioning my precious feet. an it'll be air-conditioned.
this is the apartment where i'll live in during my bachelorette days....i'm not going to marry like immediately after graduating, so i'll have ample time to fully enjoy my luxurious ideal home!yeapp..i wanna live a very high-end life!it'll be a refreshing change!
gosh...i've got such expensive dreams that i frighten myself sometimes!haha!
i still want THE HOUSE!
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
vib is funny. seriously funny.she's
sooo FUNNY! i really have to emphasize this.
jen is funny too.hikmah is ultimate hyperness....and she talks cock wimme the whole day.
the 4 of us go nuts.in the nutty income tax department. we're nutty tax officers.
we're stuck with a pristine white wall infront of us.like how
cool is that? and the cafeteria is just beside my office. so yay to self-declared breaks!
we are encouraged to do our work as
slowly as possible coz there isn't enough forms for everyone to screen.
i spend my days playing hangman and bingo.and laughing out of pure boredom.
and having shakira's la tortura on replay-mode half the day.
encountered a rich french dude...who earned more than most people do in their lifetime,wihin a period of 6 short months. he stays near vib. i shall convert him and marry him; he's only 25! brilliant!(this is the boredom talking...)
took 21 to work again. had a whole 40mins to ponder on the most random of thoughts.
i like speed.i always ask my dad to speed
up even when he's riding his bike at 100km/h on the highway.i find the sensation exhilirating. so does that make me a speed junkie?
random thought again.
i used to dream of owning a red ferrari sports car.just coz its purportedly the best around.red coz i find it ultra sexy...like in the movies.i can't claim to fancy any mechanical aspect it possesses persay;this is probably attributed to my severe deficiency in knowledge when it comes to cars.
apparently i look equally nice in a light brown tudung, and i dressed very prettily today.
it was
sooo effortless honestly! (=
jen calls my hp cover a 'condom' while hikmah protested most vehemently that it is called 'silicon'. crazy colleagues? haha.
discovered the teh tarik corner at geylang sells pretty nice satay.random again.
as you can see, i did not put
much thought into this entry. ok,none at all! hah!
watched american pie1 tonight.
it is mighty hilarious!! and so, wara's life is spared...for her great recommendation.
my 'anak rambut's are annoying.they make their debut, more obviously when im wearing tudung.grr....
tmr is syarahan day again. the first i shall attend as a fellow tudungian.hah!
and maybe after, dinner at arab st with the girls.
payday is this friday.hurrayy!
babi cpf...cut 20% of my hard-earned money.babi!
i adjust the tudung on a average of 3 times per day when at work.
i'm such a newbie at this!
ooh...some guy complimented aysha and my skin...funny flirt la he!
said sth about both of us having undergone plastic surgery coz our complexion so flawless!
and then it suddenly occured to him that hanisah and vib we there as well, so he declared
magnanimously that all
four of us were pretty....aysha now i
know what u mean about him!
ama nina is an angel.she ordered nasi beriyani for us for our thursday lunch. i love my aunt.
coz of her, im famous at her dept. hah!
and now, i've got a box to place my stuff at work. ok so the 3 of us share 2 boxes. one strictly for paper-crap and the other for storing foodstuff!
i think i better go sleep now, before i continue typing random nothings.goodnight oh-blog!
Saturday, March 03, 2007
spent the entire saturday at parkway with amal and aminah,and i discovered that aminah is very definitely a replica of my rebellious-self back in my sec3-4 days.
she wants to wear everything her parents would object to....thank god i am
sooo over that phase in life and have settled for urm...the very correct path.
got myself a new black wallet(yes i've gotten over my brown-fetish phase and moved on to black as my new must have!) and 2vcds--the 'King & I' and ' American Pie'.wara u better run for ur life if american pie isn't as hilarous as u made it seem to be!
siti and ama nina decided to arrive unfashionably late after attending some wedding at yishun.
so there we were, 3 starved teens awaiting the arrival of ppl who wud belanja us makan.and we waited for a good 3hours,so don't berate me for being impatient and having a monstrous appetite when i finally started eating!
dined at delifrance, where i ordered a chicken ciabatta sandwhich and creme brulee for dessert(ultimate yumness!). after eating, met the other 2 at banquet and went giant-shopping....
oh! and the
dumb nyonya over at the frozen-meat section asked me the most absurd question ever!!! she nodded in my uncles' direction and asked '"ur husband ah girl? very lucky ah he, ur very pretty and young summore!"
silence.
after i recovered from my momentary shock i said 'NO that is my uncle! and his
kids(amal & aminah) are there!!' and my uncle was already laughing like mad and shaking his head in disbelief!
bloody blind dingdong kukubird!( i am trying very hard not to use the F word here)
other than encountering that bloke of a woman, whose neurons and dendrites have very probably been chilled by her freezing environment...the rest of the night was uneventful.
slept over at siti's house.yeap...me,amal and aminah squeezed into siti's bed and slept!
instead of meeting my 1h deadline to siap and go buy more tudung to expand my tudung collection;which stands at a grand total of 1 currently, i am blogging!
brilliant! amal is gg to skin me alive!!
Friday, March 02, 2007
nat said: "its the tudung i tell u....it does wonders!"
and so today.most anticipated(not) day in 2007. 'a' level results.
i had no appetite the whole morning.
i was soo bothered.disturbed.
12.30--> got ready to go get results.
2.15pm: wara called to say that both she n hanisah got 3distinctions.im like "omg im screwed la...will never get 3 As on my part".mama and siti start calling.and everytime they called, i cried coz i did not want to let them down. love to lela for supplying me tissues when in the bus =)
2.30pm: by then, my nerves were numb.maybe...just maybe blood stopped flowing thru my frozen veins and arteries.sat down in the overcrowded, stuffy hall.
2.35pm: dumb mr tong and loke yeo did NOT want to stop yakking. i'm like thinking 'shuddup u f*****s i wanna know my results already!!"
(squeezing lina's hand by this time)
2.40pm: they start flashing out names of top scorers for the cohort.so they started from cg 01/05.and since triple sci classes semua at the back, i could hardly breathe in anticipation.every bit of me was dying for my name to be up there! finally, after like 10slides, i see cg 24/05.
and wait a minute, i see FAIRUZ .......OMFG I GOT 3 DISTINCTIONS?!?!
i screamed and started crying like crazy while hugging lina. i could not stop crying for the life of me.so more tissues were passed down to me.i was in a state of surreality.somewhere in the midst of all those tears, i could hear lina saying "ur gg to apply to medicine. ur gg to become a doctor,u have to..."
after all i had sacrificed last year, it finally paid off!
im gg to be awarded on college day this year.mama will be invited.she's gg to be so
proud of me.apparently siti cried with joy when i told her my results.
then i called ama piah in jeddah and told her and she too cried!(cringes when i think of how looong i called her using my hp! confirm my bill this month naikk!)
then amal called and ama shifa and the whole world who knows me called/smsed.
poor mama, she could not concentrate at work and kept calling me prior to results.siti sampai sakit perut coz she was so scared for me!
ama nina gave a huge sigh of relief.
so yes, my entire family knew my results within 30mins of me getting it. be it the brunei ones or the ones in saudi! hahaha!
celebrated with the lovelies at swensens. i ordered fish n chips and ate wholeheartedly after having lost my appetite for a good 24hrs!
then after chit-chatting for some time, we decided to head home.
its been an emotionally gruelling day.
im tired already.
but today goes down in history as the day fai got 3 As!!!
insyaallah i get medicine.
hanisah, tell ur mum indeed Allah loves me.
and the tudung
stays!
Thursday, March 01, 2007
hanisah is fated to be with her beloved monyet.
there cudn't be a more faithful lover around than she is.
evidence 1: she taught pri sch kids how to play monkey while in
heels.evidence 2: she
read out a story about a monkey named coco to the kids while in class.
while teachers are responsible for moulding the future of our nation( spoofed from the incessant moe promotion), hanisah is responsible for spreading the love for monkeys.
HOHOHO!
one joyful news amidst all this anxiety and nervousness.
aysha and me got the hospital attachment from 2-6th april at SGH! yayyyy!
the last time i went for hospital attachment at alexandra, i was attached to the radiology dept; very boring!
this time i get the action-packed A&E dept.wheeee!!
im scared to death for tmr.
i mean it!
tmr decides my life practically!!! mama was giving me this pep talk about how she knows i've tried my very best and how i should be open to alternatives should tmr not go so well.
im thinking of accountancy, since its a real money-maker....but i've been wanting yllsom for like one
thousand million years, and for that longing to end abruptly tmr iwll be the worse disappointment i've ever gotta deal with!* tink happy thought fai, happy happy thoughts! be OPTIMISTIC*
but i also believe in being realistic, and reality ain't that pretty.
i shud just tell siti to get me married off la if results suck tmr.
i will learn to masak. and be a home-maker!!
OH GOD FORBID NOOOOO!!!
i will not settle down so soon.neither will i waste my youth being tied down to someone forever.
i shall learn to be receptive to other prospective career-options out there.yes.
why must tmr come sooo soon??!?
i'll never be prepared for my results.
i dun want them back.really, i dun mind moe nt giving them back!they can
have my results. ikhlas i donate that to them!
grrr.....
im mentally begining to countdown to 2.30pm tmr.
im not anticipating it.
i doubt if i'll get sleep at all tonight.
even if i do, i'd be tormented by horrific images of yucky grades for all my subjects.
tmr i wanna be an antisocial.unless of course i'm pleasantly surprised.
im a wreck now.like im not myself.
on the surface, i might look eerily confident.
but im NOT!
im a jumbled mess;a turmoil of the darkest most awfully disturbing emotions coursing through my veins....
i'm unprepared for this.im not mature enough for this.
i dun want tmr to come!!maybe this is all a super bad dream, and i'll wake up from it and know i was just dreaming.that this isn't real! i need comforting.and at the moment, alot of mental support!
